Monthly Archives: June 2014

A Christian Walks Into a Bar… Mitzvah

I feel sorry for the teenager forced into the “Messianic Bar Mitzvah” ceremony in this video, taken at The Tabernacle in Branson, Missouri. The ceremony has all of the awkwardness you’d find in an actual bar mitzvah ceremony, but I doubt he received any good presents.

Stray observations:

  • “Rabbi” Jeremy Storch is a founding member of The Vagrants. He claims to have been raised in a “traditional Jewish home,” but found Jesus in the wake of a near-fatal drug overdose. Now he plays tepid Messianic praise music.
  • The congregation can’t even get the name of its most holy book right: on the projected PowerPoint, they write “Brit Ha Dasha” (“The Dasha Covenant,” I guess?) instead of “Brit Chadasha” (“The New Testament”).
  • Their Hebrew transliteration uses “ale” as a name for the divine. Now we know why Abraham named the place of the covenant Beersheba!
  • For the “Torah reading,” the teenager read aloud Numbers 2:3 and 2:9, which somehow led into a speech about how Yeshua and David are of the same spirit. The speech didn’t make much sense to me, but I hardly blame the teenager, who was likely forced into this Jewish playacting by his parents.
  • If the name “Storch” sounds familiar, it might be because Storch is also the uncle of Scott Storch, a hip-hop producer who went from superstar-dom to financial ruin in months after becoming addicted to cocaine.