Tag Archives: blessings

Shout It Out

He’s either trying to speak Hebrew or pass a kidney stone, but I’m not sure which.

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Bow Chicka Wow Wow

These people are going to give themselves whiplash if they keep bowing every time someone says “baruch” or “blessed.”

Also, did anyone else read Highlights for Children growing up? This video reminds me of the “What’s Wrong?” puzzles on the back cover. “Can you spot the five silly things this congregation is doing during the Torah service?”

[Update: The video is no longer available.]

The person lighting the candles is usually the one who recites the blessing, but not in this household—he’s the man of the house, dangnabbit, and he’s going to show everyone just how badly he can butcher Hebrew (2:25).

Also, if you’re new to the whole “Christian Seder” phenomenon, note that participants Christianize everything in it. Why do they light two candles? To symbolize G-d and Jesus, as well as the Old Testament and the New Testament. What do the three pieces of matzah represent? G-d, Jesus, and the church. And why is the matzah perforated and baked? To symbolize Jesus’ torment and descent into Hell. It goes on and on.